This Is As Foo-Foo As I Get!
2012
There are three parts of being to focus on when dating; the internal you, the physical you and the actionable you. They will have three very different roles to play and each is critical.
The internal you must be grounded no matter what, especially when you like the guy. When women like men we go insane…straight mad. I don’t know why. I witness it constantly and I was no exception as a bad dater. We want to call all the time, thank them for a lovely evening(as if men find good manners sexy), text them back immediately since we were sitting there waiting for their text message, question their where abouts, ask where this relationship is going and get pissed at the answer. Insanity. The internal you need to remain anchored and in control of the crazy you. Understand that even if you do like a guy, you must stay the course. The best way to do that is by creating a plan and implementing a strategy with your dating.
I’m not for games or rules, but sometimes a little structure can create more freedom. I know it sounds weird, but I remember as an actress I was nervous about playing Billie Holiday in my acting class. I thought it would be too restricting to play a real person because now I have to do what they actually did. I studied her videos, found the reality of what she felt by learning the behavior of heroine addicts and it was the best scene of my acting class. In the confines of all that structure, I had so much freedom. The internal you needs to embrace the strategy, trust in it and stay focused on the end result, which is a partner. Once you get hooked on an individual, and not your goal, all bets are off and I can’t help you.
The Physical You- the reason why you will be able to tell guys you date that “you are in search of a relationship and anything short of that is just fun”, or that he can’t come to your home, or anything that means “no” is because the physical you is always saying yes. Your hello is Yes, your goodbye is Yes, when you are with him it’s YES!!! Everything about you tells this man that you like him. You flirt, touch, kiss, make out, speak sweetly, compliment him, are excited and energized by his presence. Your energy is addictive and intoxicating. If you are anything short of this then you are not putting “out” and you need to put out. Putting out is what will keep him calling and pursuing you even if he is in a physical relationship with a booty call, it doesn’t matter because the other person doesn’t make him feel the same way. If you play your cards right you will become his favorite person and that’s the goal.
The actionable you is the laziest of the three but also the most important because if she screws you up, you are put on the chopping block or even worst- Relationship Purgatory. The actionable you need not do much. She shouldn’t call, text, facebook stalk, or anything like that. The actionable you should master how to speak when spoken to that means do not initiate conversations with the guys you date, allow them to pursue you. The actionable you controls things when you are not in the guy’s presence. Just Chill! Don’t do anything. Don’t analyze, over think, talk about, research, text, call, facebook friend, linked in, instagram…don’t do anything. The image that we want to project is that you are a confident, busy, “in demand”, loveable, sexy woman and you don’t have time to do these simple things because you are way too busy out enjoying life. Don’t make a liar out of me
If all three areas are performed correctly then we will have the most beautiful irresistible symphony possible and it’s only a matter of time before some man begs you to marry him.
**Tails**
When dating ALWAYS assume that the guy is dating someone else until told otherwise. You don’t have to ask because it is not your concern, just don’t do anything that you would regret, usually this involves sex. But the best part of that assumption is that it works both ways and you will date others as well.
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