The Joys Of Dating

Unless you are a single male over the age of 45, living in Los Angeles, no one usually dates just for the sake of dating.  Most people have some sort of end goal in mind, it might be a partner, a marriage, family or something along those lines; but very rarely do we date just to “date”.

But why not?

I mean, I know why not, I am from Earth just like you and I’ve been conditioned the same way, or is it an American thing? I’d like you to keep the end result but I also want you to concentrate on enjoying the ride. No pun intended.  I remember reading a quote that basically said, enjoy the journey, and on the road to your end goal, please remember to enjoy the journey.

Can you do that?

As a newly married person, I enjoyed dating. It was the only time I got to try different restaurants, areas, friend circles, sports, adventures and lips.  I wouldn’t trade those adventures for the world in the same way that I would not trade my marriage. I love being married, and appreciate this part of my life immensely.

As a single person, you will have opportunities that might not ever get again and you don’t want to miss them because you are so busy waiting for a husband. My close friends and I call that being attached to the outcome. The problem with being attached to an outcome is two things. The first is that if you are focused out the outcome you can’t enjoy the present and the second is that we can’t control that future. We can’t so the only thing you can do to position yourself for the relationship that you want is to enjoy where you are right now! This very minute.

Be present!

Find the beauty in all of it. Hanging at home on a Friday night, having a sleepover at your girlfriends house, watching football all day with your boys, traveling with reckless abandonment, watching gossip girl/ house of Thrones marathons, giving at home facials, leaving the toilet seat up, enjoy it all! It won’t last forever (especially if you read my blogs and website) and you better take advantage of it now. Don’t worry about becoming the 45 and up eternal Single, if you are on this site, the odds are already in your favor.

The most important reason why I’d like you to enjoy dating is because if you enjoy it, it will make you happy. Being happy single is your biggest weapon to finding a partner. I don’t believe you need to create this busy full life of single stuff because I’ve seen that backfire, but be happy. How attractive is it going out with a person who is happy and satisfied exactly where they are? It makes you want to take a sip of what they are drinking as opposed to the person who is lonely, sad and thinks that a partner will make them happy. We all know that’s not true and that person will never be satisfied.

Enjoy being single!


Your actionable item is to try something new! Completely new! If you only hang out on the south side of town, try the north side. If you only date a certain type…give someone else a try. “Variety is the spice of life”…one of my favorite quotes; the other is “behind every blond is a great brunette” Hef *sorry I couldn’t resist.


  1. Kelly

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