I Met My Dream Guy, Now What!?!?
Thank you for taking the time to personally coach me! As a result of our chats, the dating scene has been going very well. After the first session, I went on 3 dates and was asked out for a second date while on the first by all three guys and that has never happened to me before! Since then, I’ve had a lot of prospects and let go of many too.I feel silly when I say I believe I’ve found the one I’m supposed to be with. I met him at my new job a few weeks ago. I didn’t notice him at first but we were cordial to one another until we began talking about our mutual interest in bourbon and set up a date later in the week. Prior to that we happened to be leaving work at the same time and he invited me out for a quick drink and light meal. As soon as we sat down there was instant chemistry and we ended up talking until the restaurant had to close. We’ve had about 4 dates since that time and each date is better than the one before. I’m very excited about him and also incredibly nervous because he seems to good to be true. I’ve been taking things slowly and so has he but there is a definite connection that is being maintained and encouraged. So much in fact he’s invited me to meet his brother this Sunday for dinner. Any advice you can offer as to how I should proceed would be welcomed.
This is awesome and I’m very happy that my coaching has helped you meet an awesome guy. Don’t start picking out wedding colors just yet. In regards to his brother, it’s just dinner, don’t set out to impress anyone, just be yourself. Enjoy your time with his family; be respectful, present and interested in them, the same as you have been.
The relationship phase is a whole new category. It seems like you really like him, which is great, but we women tend to lose our focus on the big picture when our emotions are involved. If your goal is a boyfriend then, you can stop once he commits. But if you have the goal of finding a husband, you need to slow down and listen for certain things. A guy who makes a good boyfriend might not make a good husband or even want to get married. Moving forward listen for what is said, not what you interpret it to mean. For example, “I’m not sleeping with anyone else” does not mean, “I’d like you to be my girlfriend.”
I would prefer you be in a relationship with someone you know before opening yourself up, literally and figuratively. Keep your emotions in check just in the rare case that you have to negotiate.
Listen for phrases like “I’m not looking to get married”; “I don’t believe in marriage”; “marriage doesn’t define a relationship” etc. These types are set in their ways and will make great boyfriends especially for vampires that don’t age. But at a certain point we chose to grow up and focus on other things like retirement, kids, buying a home, picking a place for vacation and if you are in perpetual boyfriend/girlfriend status there is only so much of that you can legally do.
The other type of guy you need to watch out for is a guy with goals and achievements that must be fulfilled before he allows himself to consider marriage. There is nothing wrong with this guy but you can’t control their goals and sometimes it’s a long process.
I know the heart wants what it wants but if you program yourself to date guys who are in the same place you are, relationship-wise, that will make your life easier. The same as Vegans program themselves to eat yucky food it’s all mind over matter.
If your goal is a boyfriend then refrain from gentlemen with 2 year marriage plans; by the same token if you want to get married, don’t date a guy who has to accomplish several life goals before he even thinks about it, and he hasn’t even done the first.
Sell to the store that is buying what you are selling.
My process is so great that it positions you to date everyone but it is up to you and only you to pick the best person for you, flaws and all.
Think back to a time you dated a person that wasn’t lined up with what you wanted and try to figure out where you could have changed the outcome had you paid more attention. Taking responsibility for your part in bad dating will help reduce future mishaps.