Dating a Divorced Guy, Is it Supposed to Be Hard?

Nov
2012
23

posted by on Ask me anything

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 Serria,

I’ve been dating a recently divorced guy, for less than half a year and he’s now depressed and pulling away. I really want to be with him, and also he has alot of life situations that are pulling him in different directions away from me. Should I be his friend or move on? 

It depends! Do you have lots of time to waste with someone while you wait for him to get it together? If you do, be his friend.

I’ve never been a fan of men who seem like victims of the world. It’s a turn off for me. Many woman like to rescue, I like to leave them where I found them. In life, as a woman you can be the savior or the one being rescued. I prefer to be rescued, and some times I actually need rescuing. You can’t ever be rescued if you are dating a man who you have to rescue. Something about that situation doesn’t fit into the way life is meant to be.

I know you like him and if you want to keep wasting your precious time, carry on being sucked into his drama. If you don’t want to, clear your space for someone good and let him go. Don’t be surprised if you start to date and feel sad because you would rather be with him. But do know that he’s choosing to pick his drama over you. He can choose to not let life affect him in that way, he is not. That’s a sign of who he is, I don’t care for it.

Take a short break, like a two months, but no more than that. Dating is fun and casual, think of it as making new friends, not going out to meet a husband or boyfriend each time.

I know it’s easier for me to say than it will be for you to do, but each day you go without talking to him will get easier. Having the life we want requires making tough decisions and sacrifices sometimes. But it will be worth it, I promise.

**Tails**

For your two months off dating, I’d like you to still get out and have fun. Also if someone happens to ask you out for a date, you can turn them down for now but at the end of your two months, turn it on and get the party cracking! I honestly hate the idea of date breaks but for you it sounds like what you need it.

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