Celibacy- The Silent Killer
I read an article on a site called “Clutch” that was written by a single and celibate young lady. She was on a date with a guy. They were making out on her couch, his hand went to touch her honey pot, and she blurted out, “I’m celibate!” The rest is history.
The word “celibate” confuses me because it means “a person who abstains from sexual relations.” At this moment I’m celibate. I’m typing on my computer, which means I’m not having sex…at this moment. It’s a vague and pointless word that should be eliminated from a single person’s vocabulary. A word that should not be eliminated is “virgin”.
I was celibate myself when I was younger, because I was too stupid to understand that I didn’t have to screw every guy I dated. So I became celibate as a “push-back” to weed out the ones who would leave right after sex. What I should have been doing was just learning to date smarter…but I didn’t know where to start. Lucky you because you have me.
You are not celibate. You are a bad dater – pissed that guys have mislead you, got some snatch and left. Celibate is not some super hero that will fly in and block all your dumb man choices. You can be celibate then get married and still experience heartache from an unfaithful husband. Don’t use that word to try and reclaim your power. Your power is already in you – plus men don’t want to hear it. It’s a turn off in the same fashion as a guy saying he doesn’t want to get married. It takes away a man’s hope, and if he has no hope, he won’t be with you. I’m very familiar with hope, Playboy was built on it. All Playmates are single at the mansion and every guy there has a shot at taking us home.
Dreams are motivators.
It’s not his right to know your sexual status. He doesn’t need to know how many guys you have slept with, if you are currently having sex, or if you typically date 4 months before getting down and dirty. It’s not his business! He is a casual guy you are dating, not your man, your fiancé or anything significant. Just some dude you are dating and, if you are dating the way you should be, he doesn’t even know where you live.
When the conversation comes up about sex, be honest and share your healthy feelings about making love (noticed I said your healthy feelings). Don’t go into the land of descriptives – it’s not the right path. But more importantly, say you are dating to find a husband or boyfriend and, until you find that person, you are having fun. What that communicates to guys is that he has a chance. You need him to think he has a chance! What celibate says to a guy is, “everyone besides me has had sex with you and now no matter how hard I work, I won’t get a promotion.” I too would quite that job.
Do you see the difference?
The reality is that you are not celibate or you are celibate just as much as the next person. If you want to make sure that you are dating a guy that likes you, then position yourself to be liked.
What do you think?
On the next your next second date, meaning not the first time you have seen a guy (preferably) I’d like you to practice showing public displays of affection. Kissing, touching, holding his hand! If you have chosen to go out with him again, there is something there so fan the fires.