Being Single is No Accident *Part 1
2012
I just read a quote from @OprahsQuotes that said something about doing what you love and not caring if you are paid or not. I had a problem with that quote, just like some of you will have a problem with this post. I realized that I am not a billionaire and it’s probably because I don’t understand that quote. Money is important and real for me.
I’m not a billionaire and it’s no accident. Just like being single is no accident. If you are single, meaning unmarried, look around at the way you conduct your day and present yourself.
How you conduct your day
Many single women work a job and go home. Every once in a while they might go to a restaurant for take out, Target, and then church…there’s always church but they have a routine. Guess what, the biggest reason why you are single is because of the routine.
Break it.
Try something new! Even if you are a messy slob, if you break your routine and position yourself to meet a man, you will and you won’t have to change a thing. If you don’t have friends, make some, if people don’t seem to like you, take a class somewhere and develop hobbies. Try Meetup.com, the learning annex, or the local community college. Also comb the local newspaper calendar for stuff in your area, usually it’s free. Try a new happy hour every week.
The “You”
Men are so simple, they like winners! Period. That means be confident, not cocky just confident because it doesn’t matter how beautiful you are, if you are insecure, you are a loser to them. Ugly men, and by ugly I mean physically unattractive but also internally ugly as well, they pray on insecure women and if you think you are screwed up now, wait until you’ve danced with the devil. You might as well pack your house with hairless cats for companionship because their damage will shine like a neon light to healthy men saying “stay away, stay away!” And they will.
In addition to being a winner, speak like a winner. Say great positive things, be easy to get along with, have fun and make everyone feel awesome around you. As a Playmate, every Playmate of the Year has that quality and it’s wonderful to watch. It’s easy, just be present, put down your phone, look people in the eye, fall in love with human beings. Hell, be LOVE, personified.
I have friends, who think it’s cute to have opinions and voice them all the time. They are the most single! Never to be married. Opinions quickly turn into arguments because although men like winners, they consider themselves to be the biggest winner of all and you can’t have two winners in a relationship. Don’t argue with men, you can’t change their opinion, no matter how stupid it is. If his stupidity is a deal breaker then go to the next guy. With your glow, you will have no problem finding more.
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“Ugly men, and by ugly I mean physically unattractive but also internally ugly as well, they pray on insecure women and if you think you are screwed up now, wait until you’ve danced with the devil. ”
Okay, so if this is what you think about physically unattractive men — and I do happen to agree — why would you encourage women (you did in an earlier post) to date men who are less attractive than the women are themselves?
It’s been my (hard-earned) experience the less attractive a man is, the more entitled he feels to a “10/Playmate” and the more obnoxious about it he is — this is a fairly recent thing as of this century, I think — and the most secure men I’ve met have been the more attractive ones.
(Up to a point, of course — if men are *really* gorgeous physically, they become pretty useless in every other way.)
So you know — what about that?
P.S. It’s “prey” in that context, not “pray”.
Hello M! :-) Men tend to date up. They usually try to get the prettiest woman they can get and keep without killing themselves. Usually that’s about 2 points higher, if he’s a 5 she’s a 7. If a woman is dating the way she should and a man who is more attractive than her, pursues her; that’s ABSOLUTELY fine! What I don’t want to happen is that a woman gets all googly eyed over some cute guy and starts loosing her mind and pursing him. If you are being pursued by a guy who is more attractive than you, great! Just don’t go after him.
Now the ugly guys (internal and external, more internal :-) are dangerous and they will try to do a number on you just to make you feel bad enough to date them. And they aggressively go after pretty women and pull out all the stops. They are trying to validate themselves, prove friends wrong and all types of things that we could care less about. The reason why it’s so new is because of this damn internet. These guys can go on websites “shopping” for women and they don’t feel anything from being rejected like they would at a club, so they keep doing it. Reality TV and webs make everything seem really close and easily attainable. Plus it decreases social interactions so people start living in facebook fantasy land.
You are right about the confident and looks correlation! I experienced the exact same thing.
M, at a certain point the game changes when you are looking for a husband because you need to listen for a different language and I want to make sure you are open minded and know what to keep an eye out for and more importantly you have suitors to select from.
It has been really easy for me to live a life that reinforces being single and then be mystified as to why I can’t find a good looking man under my couch. I never mix things up and secretly I think I was praying that he’d be a gorgeous doctor who likes to moonlight as a pizza delivery boy. LOL, but now I realize I need to get out more & put some effort into meeting more people.