5 Biggest Mistakes Women Make with Love and Men


posted by on Challenges, Love


I am a “Girl’s Girl” but I am also a “Guy’s Girl.” I live in both worlds and can communicate equally well with everyone. I am at the age where it’s becoming more and more obvious why certain friends are and will remain single.

Throughout the years I have seen 5 big reasons why my girlfriends stay single, of course there are more but here are the biggest bull crap culprits.

1. Not Going to Settle-this is a real issue however for most women it’s a door way to the land of loneliness. I was with my mother in law this past week and she really settled. I mean, she has settled in such a way that it made me realize that most people don’t settle. Settling, means dating someone that isn’t on your level. But with most women, it means a really nice guy that doesn’t physically make them wet their panties.

That’s not settling, the two aren’t even related. For example, do you think Tamara Braxton settled? She has a man who loves her, works hard to take care of her and looks like he arrived to earth on a space ship ready to take it over with his brotheren. She did not settle! She did a great job!

A model girlfriend of mine, said she wanted to meet a rich guy, handsome, worshipped her, faithful,  and of royal blood. She said she didn’t want to settle. She is single and will be single for a very very long time…if not forever.  

It is not settling if every number on a stupid checklist can’t be crossed off, it’s being open and if you are on the market to find love, you better be open.

2. I will go on with my life and a man will appear-Oh goodness, how many times have I heard this crock of pooh? How will he appear all of sudden? You’ve been going on with your life for the past 30 plus years, why is something going to change all of a sudden. What is the definition of insanity? If you want a man, you need to make space for him and change your life to intercept him. I’ve seen girlfriends luck on a man who wanted to date them but then couldn’t fit them into their busy calendar.  Busy is great for Bees, for people it’s stupid. I hate to hear the word.

3. God Will Send me a Man- I am a Christian, and I have all types of issues with my church girls dating. It doesn’t make sense. I think God is going to send me a winning Lottery number except I hardly play the lottery. So let’s just say for argument that your God-sent-man and my lottery ticket are on the same bus and I’m not holding my breath to win the lottery.  

Don’t use the church as a reason to be lazy! Also, if you want my opinion don’t date guys in church, they are usually gay.

4. Everyone Deserves Love- as true as that might sound, everyone will not have a crack at love. They just won’t, look at the numbers. Many mothers will go a lifetime without being married and it’s no different for single women. It’s not some path that will happen. The bigger the city you live in the higher the probability of staying single.

5. I have to be the best me to find a man- I don’t know where this crap came from and everytime I hear people say it I shake my head and roll my eyes. I think its something that passive people say as a way to take their attention off the fact that they aren’t doing anything. Yes, men love winners and the better you are, the better the guy will be but men are not perfect either! We are all flawed and there is no place of ‘being’ that will create perfection. In my career people always ask me when is the best time to save and my answer is always NOW. It’s the same with dating, it’s always now! Not when you loose weight, get your hair done, finish the divorce, get a new job blah blah blah roll my eyes.

Guess what? Dating is a wonderful distraction from life’s woes, even if you end up crying on a date, so what! Go on more date and try not to cry on those.

If you are serious about love, then act and move in spite of yourself. There is someone out there waiting for you to enjoy life.

What are your thoughts?


Find a generous pretty “taken” girlfriend. These girls will usually be able to set you up on plenty of dates with guys who are single and looking.


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